it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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