I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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