My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
