New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize