Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
