I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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