I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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