Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
