yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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