I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
