They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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