we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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