he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize