yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
