i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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