When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize