Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
