I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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