At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
