This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
