3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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