Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
