Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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