Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize