he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You are a genius and a whore.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize