just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
