The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
