Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
