I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Randomize
