For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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