if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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