her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
sex in a hospital.. check
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
