She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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