And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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