it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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