After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
