Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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