do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Drunk is not a location!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
