I accidentally had phone sex last night
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
