found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
