Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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