Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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