is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize