i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
