plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
