I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
