So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
