so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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