Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
