shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
