is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
