somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
