that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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