Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
