Already got asked if we're dating
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
