Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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