Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
