ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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