i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
