i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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