why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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