i just wanna soil my oats bro
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
