I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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