its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
