so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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