Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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