I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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