Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
