My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
